MVW Presents: MVWA 13
Missouri Valley Wrestling
QWest Arena
Omaha, Nebraska
Sunday November 1st
Hosts: Paige McGillicutty and Dame Judith Carmody
Paige McGillicutty
Paige: Paige McGillicutty here with Dame Judith Carmondy and welcome to Missouri Valley Wrestling’s, MVWA 13. We are live from Omaha, Nebraska and for those of you wondering, I am covering for the ‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin as she has some business to attend to at Dream Wrestling Federation. Tonight, we are crowning MVW Tag Team Television champions. Two matches consisting of three teams each. The two winners meet in the main event tonight for the title. Judith, your thoughts?”
Judith: “Well, again. It’s hard to say which team has any advantage. The wild card is this is the new team of ‘Sweet Southern Comfort’ Jackie Daniels and ‘the Six Foot Demolition Machine in a Short Skirt’ Dawn McGill. Who knows how the team will jell. Who knows how Daniels will react now that her former mentor and tag team partner Kirsta Lewis is here tonight.”
Paige: “Also, Missouri Valley Wrestling Champion Miss USA and Dream Wrestling Federation Champion Jill Berg make it official tonight- the MVW Dream Women’s Title Unification match to be held next week at DWF’s Golden Dreams. A programming note, we will not be on the air next Sunday night. MVWA 14 has been pushed back one week to November 15th. However, we will be showing the Miss USA/Jill Berg Match in its entirety that night. Ring Announcer Jack Zenk is in the ring and we’re ready to go.”
Semi-Final #1
Rock and Roll Girl Shanna Barrett w/Molly Hatchett
and
‘Lingerie Girl’ Brandi Bayless
vs.
Star Trekkies United
vs.
Vatican Vice Squad
Zenk: “In the ring already, Sierra Jacobson and Missy Halverson. They are the STAR TREKKIES!”
[Sierra and Missy give each other the Vulcan hand sign for 'live long and prosper.]
Zenk: “Coming to the ring, all the way from the Vatican, Sister Mary Marlboro, Sister Sandy Scarboro, managed by Mother Superior, Sister Susan. They are- THE VATICAN VICE SQUAD!”
[Sister Mary, Sister Sandy, and Sister Susan all climb into the ring and quickly cross themselves.]
Zenk: “Team number three…”
*The crunching opening riffs to Sammy Hagar’s ‘Heavy Metal’ begin*
Zenk: Accompanied by manager Molly Hatchett…”Lingerie Girl” Brandi Bayless, and “Rock and Roll Chick” Shanna Barrett!”
“Headbangers in leather
Sparks flyin’ in the dead of the night
It all comes together
When they turn out the lights
50,000 watts of power
And it’s pushin’ overload
The beast is waiting to devour
All the metal they can hold
Rockin’ overload
Ready to explode
It’s your one way ticket to midnight
Call it…Heavy Metal
Higher than high…call it just right
Call it…Heavy Metal
Desperation on a red line
Call it…Heavy Metal noise
Paige: “We’re about ready to go. Judith, who do you think has the edge here?”
Judith: “Well, I’d have to say that the Vatican Vice Squad does simply because they are an established tag team. Bayless and Barrett have possibilities but they’ve never tagged together before.”
[The bell rings. Sister Sandy goes right for Jacobson and punches her repeatedly. Sister Sandy with a side headlock...DDT' to Jacobson. Jacobson scrambles back to her corner and makes the tag to Halverson. Shanna Barrett comes up from behind and grabs Sister Sandy...lift...suplex. Halverson follows a headbutt to Sister Sandy's mid-section for good measure. Halverson tags Jacobson back in. Barrett pulls Sister Sandy up and whips her to the corner of the ring. Sister Mary in...with a steel-folding chair. *CLANG* Barrett is down in a heap. Sister Sandy has Barrett up...a Gut Wrench Powerbomb on the chair. Davey Keels warns Sister Sandy and kicks the chair from the ring.]
Paige: “That’s pretty bad when you have to warn a nun about using a chair.”
[Barrett makes it to her corner and tags Brandi Bayless in. Bayless and Sister Sandy lock up. Bayless sends Sister Sandy to the corner of the ring. Jacobson tries to lift Sister Sandy for a belly-to-back suplex. Sister Mary again in and stops her. Sister Mary grabs Jacobson and nails a reverse neckbreaker. Cover. One...two...Bayless breaks the count. Barrett tagged back in by Bayless. Barrett bounces Sister Sandy off the ropes and faceslams her to the mat. Barrett pokes Jacobson in the eye with her thumb. Barrett makes the tag to Bayless and kicks Sister Sandy in the stomach. Barrett behind her now...sit down face slam! Bayless with the cover...one...two...kick out by Sister Sandy.]
Paige: “Two quick cover attempts early on.”
Judith: “They’re just trying to steal a quick win.”
[Bayless punches Sister Sandy repeatedly. Bulldog by Bayless and then she goes top turnbuckle. She drops the elbow from the top rope and hooks the leg. One...two...Sister Mary makes the save. Barrett in and she's exchanging haymakers with Sister Mary. Jacobson rolls Barrett up from behind. One...two...kickout by Barrett. Sister Sandy moonsaults from the top rope and plants Bayless to the canvas. Sister Mary goes top rope and hits a frog splash. Cover by Sister Sandy. One...two...Barrett with the save. Sister Sandy sends Bayless to ringside. Davey Keels starts the count (.1) Sister Sandy goes top rope again. Sister Mary throws Jacobson out of the ring and puts a chair on Bayless. Guillotine Leg Drop from Sister Sandy off the top rope on the chair and Bayless's throat! 'The Lingerie Girl' clutches her throat.]
Paige: “For a couple of nuns they sure do play rough.”
[Sister Sandy opens up the chair. She pulls Bayless up and sends her into the ropes...Drop Toe Hold onto the open chair!]
Judith: “They like to play real rough.”
Sister Sandy and Sister Mary throw Bayless back into the ring. Barrett in. Sister Mary climbs to the top rope and missile drop kicks Barrett thru the ropes! Bayless is drug back up to her feet. Sister Sandy nails Bayless with a face buster.]
Paige: “Bayless’s face is busted open!”
Judith: “Excellent facebuster by Sister Sandy. That pretty much took the starch out of Bayless.”
[Sister Sandy hooks the legs. Davey Keels counts the pin. ...1 ...2 ...3. Jack Zenk climbs into the ring.]
Zenk: “At nine minutes and seventeen seconds, your first semi-final winner is…THE VATICAN VICE SQUAD!”
[The crowd boos.]
Paige: “The Vatican Vice Squad with a decisive win in semi-final match #1.”
Judith: “Yes. Once they isolated Bayless it was just a matter of time before they got the pin.”
Paige: “Semi-final match two right after this.”
———————-
Announcer Guy: “And now, a public service announcement from Jill Berg.”
*The opening notes of Whitney Houston’s version of ‘The Greatest Love of All’ starts to play*
“I believe the children are our are future
Teach them well and let them lead the way
Show them all the beauty they possess inside
Give them a sense of pride to make it easier…”
Jill Berg appears with two children flanking her.
JILL: Hi. I’m Jill Berg. I believe the children are our future. Communities statewide are recognizing that healthy childhood experiences are not just good for children, but good for their communities as well. It’s simple really. The actions we take, like parent-child interaction, reading and constructive play, can promote healthy child development.”
“Everybody searching for a hero
People need someone to look up to
I never found anyone to fulfill my needs
A lonely place to be
So I learned to depend on me…”
The scene shifts to Jill sitting on a couch with children playing in front of her. She leans forward with her chin resting on her hand.
JILL: “Unfortunately, children are sometimes exposed to intensive stress. Too much stress is bad for anyone but it can be devastating to child development.”
Child: “BANZAI!”
Behind Jill, one boy leaps across the couch and tackles another boy.
JILL: “At a time when we all care about the economy and its effect on the family, it just makes sense to spend more time learning how stable, nurturing relationships influence a child’s developing brain and provide a foundation for all future development.”
Another boy stands on the arm of the couch, preparing to jump.
Child: “TO THE EXTREME!”
He leaps and lands a flying elbow.
JILL: “So, promote healthy child development. Take time out to play with your child-YOW!”
The camera slides back to show a young girl with a mischevious grin on her face and her foot on Jill’s expensive heels.
JILL: “Take the time to play with your child. And you and your child will be the better for it. I, Jill Berg, will do my part as well because I’m not just wrestling for me- I’m wrestling for the children!”
CHILDREN: “JILLLLL-BERG!….JILLLLLL-BERG!….JILLLLLL-BERG!”
———————-
Every Monday Night from our friends at High Octane Wrestling
—————————————-
Every Saturday night at
Political Championship Wrestling
———————–
Paige: “Well, the Vatican Vice Squad advanced on to the Main Event tonight. Wo will be their opponents? Let’s find out.”
[Zenk already in the ring.]
Zenk: “And now, it’s time for semi-final match #2.”
Semi-Final #2
VIP Brin and Sky
vs.
The Inconvenient Truth
vs.
The Mercenaries (‘Sweet Southern Comfort’ Jackie Daniels and Dawn McGill)
*What’s Going On? by the Four Non-Blondes starts to play*
25 years and my life is still
Trying to get up that great big hill of hope
For a destination
I realized quickly when I knew I should
That the whole world’s MADE UP OF this brotherhood of man
FOR whatever that means.
Zenk: “Led to the ring at this time by their manager, Totally Gore-d Bryan Horg, Bettina Shultz, NoCal Mal- The Inconvenient Truth!”
And so I cry sometimes when I’m lying in bed
Just to get it all out, what’s in my head
And I, I am feeling a little peculiar
And so I wake in the morning and I step outside
And I take A deep breath and I get real high
And I scream from the top of my lungs,
What’s goin’ on.
[Horg, wearing a t-shirt with a huge picture of Al Gore on it, holds the ropes open for Shultz and NoCal Mal to climb through.]
Zenk: “Team number two hails from Miami Beach, Florida- VIP- Brin and Sky
[Brin and Sky slink up to the ring with their valet Bethany]
Zenk: “Team number three. First from Texas…”
*The opening bars of Charlie Robison’s ‘Down Again’ begin to play*
Zenk: “She is ‘Sweet Southern Comfort’ JACKIE DANIELS!”
Well here I go back down again
A vicious circle never ends
I’m up, I’m down, I’m up, and then
Well here I go back down again
['Sweet Southern Comfort' Jackie Daniels emerges and slowly walks to the ring.]
It seems like all I do is roam
But you stood by me for so long
And nothings changed except your gone
But seems like all I do is roam
Well here I go back down again
A vicious circle never ends
I’m up, I’m down, I’m up, and then
Well here I go back down again
[Jackie arrives at the ring and grasps the ropes. She deliberately climbs through the ropes.]
Well some folks say I drink too much
Well I guess I could lay off the stuff
When I’m low it picks me up
It could be I just think too much
[Jackie looks down at the ground.]
Well here I go back down again
A vicious circle never ends
I’m up, I’m down, I’m up, and then
Well here I go back down again
*opening guitar licks to the Beastie Boys ‘Sabotage’ play*
Zenk: “And her partner, from Morenci, Michigan…”The Six Foot Demolition Machine in a Short Skirt” DAWN McGILL!”
Can’t Stand It, I Know You Planned It
Ima Set It Straight, This Watergate
I Can’t Stand Rockin’ When I’m In Here
‘Cause Your Crystal Ball Ain’t So Crystal Clear
So, While You Sit Back And Wonder Why
I Got This Fucking Thorn In My Side
Oh My God, It’s A Mirage
I’m Tellin’ Y’all It’s Sabotage”
[Dawn McGill walks down, Singapore Cane in hand, and climbs into the ring.]
“So,So,So, So Listen Up ‘Cause You Can’t Say Nothin’
You Shut Me Down With A Push Of Your Button
But yo, I’m Out And I’m Gone
I’ll Tell You Now I Keep It On And On
‘Cause What You See You Might Not Get
And We Can Bet, So Don’t You Get Souped Yet
Scheming On A Thing That’s A Mirage
I’m Tryin’ To Tell You Now It’s Sabotage”
Paige: “Judith, who do you like in this one?”
Judith: “I think it’s a toss up. VIP is a solid tag team. The Inconvenient Truth is a very good tag team. And I just don’t know about McGill and Daniels. Any one of these three teams could win the whole thing.”
[The bell rings. Jackie Daniels starts quick and sends VIP Brin to the corner of the ring. Daniels tackles Brin and begins punching her. Quick cover. Referee Davey Keels makes the count. ...1 VIP Brin escapes. Daniels uppercuts VIP Brin and sends her reeling across the ring. Daniels bulldogs The Inconvenient Truth's Bettina Schultz for good measure. Schultz tags in NoCal Mal. NoCal Mal promptly catches Daniels with a clothesline. NoCal Mal tags Schultz back in. NoCal Mal reaches around Daniels and lifts her into a belly-to-back suplex. NoCal Mal pulls her back up by the hair...swinging bulldog on Daniels.]
Paige: “NoCal Mal drove Jackie Daniels’s face into the mat. Now Daniels gets sent into the turnbuckle.”
[NoCal Mal hits her with a splash and finally Keels gets her out of the ring. VIP Brin trys for a suplex but she can't Daniels. Bettina Schultz spinning mule kicks Daniels. Daniels stumbles back to her corner and tags Dawn McGill in. Schultz knifehand chops VIP Brin. Schultz brings in NoCal Mal for The Inconvenient Truth. McGill slaps a waist lock on Brin. Belly to Belly Suplex by McGill. McGill clotheslines Schultz. Brin kicks McGill in the stomach and follows with a sitdown face slam. Brin chokes McGill. Davey Keels steps in. Brin and NoCal Mal send McGill to ringside. Davey Keels starts the count (.1) (..2) Brin follows...superkick to a woozy McGill. (...3) NoCal Mal goes for a springboard bulldog. Brin dodges and climbs back into the ring. Schultz tagged in by NoCal Mal. Bettina Schultz uses a snap mare takeover on NoCal Mal. She follows with the back of her elbow and tags back in NoCal Mal. Collins throws the chair at Brin...McGill spins around and kicks the chair into her face!!]
Paige: “That’s an impressive tag team move.”
Judith: “McGill and Daniels may be on the same page a lot quicker than we thought.”
McGill runs up to the top… Moonsault body press on top of the chair and Brin!! Davey Keels counts the pin. …1…2…Brin just kicks out. McGill tags in Jackie Daniels. Daniels goes after NoCal Mal punching her repeatedly. Spinning neck-breaker from McGill takes NoCal Mal down. Mal makes the tag to Bettina Schultz. McGill finally exits. Schultz scores a takedown on Daniels. NoCal Mal follows with a leg drop across Daniels throat. NoCal Mal then drops a closed fist. Schultz knees Jackie Daniels and rolls back to her feet. Brin tags in Sky and then clotheslines Daniels. Brin sets Daniels up with a side headlock…DDT to the mat. Sky slaps on a guillotine choke on Daniels. Schultz chimes in with a corkscrew legdrop on Daniels.]
Judith: “It seems VIP and The Inconvenient Truth are on the same page when it comes to the Mercenaries.”
[Schultz fist drops Daniels and goes for the cover. ...1...2...Daniels kicks out. She makes it to her corner and tags McGill back in. Daniels finds the chair floating around the ring and uses it on Schultz. She puts the chair on Schultz and McGill jumps and lands a splash on the chair. VIP Brin punches Schultz repeatedly. Brin makes the tag to VIP Sky. Sky and McGill lock up. McGill sent to the corner of the ring. Brin comes up from behind...crotch slam on McGill. Out of nowhere, Schultz uncorks an Aztecan suplex on McGill that sends her careening to the mat. Sky tags in Brin. Dawn McGill back to her feet. Gut Wrench Powerbomb on Brin! Dawn McGill goes for a figure four...got it. The referee is checking the situation. ... Dawn McGill tightens the hold. ...VIP Brin is fighting the hold. VIP Brin escapes. Schultz tags NoCal Mal. VIP Brin clotheslines McGill. VIP Brin takes Dawn McGill down with a knee. Schultz tagged in by NoCal Mal. McGill greets her with a huge gutbuster. Bettina Schultz back up... tiger suplex by Dawn McGill. McGill sends Schultz to the corner of the ring. VIP Brin makes the tag to VIP Sky. Schultz grabs McGill's head and arm and delivers a head and arm suplex. Working quickly, Schultz locks McGill in the odd octopus hold. Referee Keels checks for a tap out. ...McGill escapes. McGill gets hit with a diving elbow smash from Schultz. Another corkscrew legdrop on McGill by Schultz. McGill back up...Schultz rakes her fingers across her back. Schultz places Sky on the turnbuckle and executes the belly-to-back superplex. Schultz gets a Super DDT on McGill! Sky ties for her own power move but is not strong enough to lift McGill. Schoolboy roll up by McGill! Daniels in and cuts off Schultz. ...1...2...3.]
Paige: “Whoa. Where did THAT come from?”
Judith: “Schultz got careless. Sky got beat. She fell asleep for one second and you can’t do that against any of these teams.”
Paige: “Miss USA-Jill Berg signing. Mercenaries versus the Vatican Vice Squad for the Tag Team TV title right after this.”
———————-
Announcer Guy: “And now, a public service announcement from Jill Berg.”
Jill Berg stands in front of an animal shelter.
JILL: “Hi. I’m Jill Berg for the ‘Guard Dogs for the Poor’ Foundation. One of the goals of ‘Guard Dogs for the Poor’ to facilitate positive interactions between neighbors by creating a safe neighborhood for everyone. ‘Guard Dogs for the Poor goes to local pet shelters and find dogs to train into guard dogs.”
Scene shifts to inside a dog training facility.
JILL: “Thousands of “child-friendly” dogs are trained every month to be matched up with a poor family and help provide a safe, comforting presence. The dogs go through specialized training before they are released to the family…”
A handler works with a dog.
JILL: “Here, the dog is trained to immediately identify an intruder inside the house and the appropriate way to respond.”
A life-size cardboard cut-out of Michael Vick is wheeled into view. The dog growls and immediately takes off. He leaps and bites the cardboard cut-out in the balls and tears it in half.
JILL: “Now, the dog is taught how to appropriately interact with children.”
Scene changes to a split second of a dog humping the handler’s leg, followed by a quick scene shift to the same dog, obviously sedated, laying in a child’s lap being petted.
Scene changes to Jill walking down the hallway of a house.
JILL: “There are some important rules to follow if you take in one of these animals. The big one is to take responsibility for your pet and never paw it off…ha…ha…on someone else. These dogs will literally give their lives to protect yours. Treat them with the respect they-”
The hostile growl of a dog interrupts her.
Jill looks into a room. One of the guard dogs has spotted her and seems to have unpleasant intentions.
JILL: Oh…snap.”
Scene changes to Jill and several children. Jill has a large bandage on her right arm.
JILL: So, support the ‘Guard Dogs for the Poor’ foundation. I’m Jill Berg, reminding you that…I’m not just wrestling for me- I’m wrestling for the children!”
CHILDREN: “JILLLLLL-BERG….JILLLLLL-BERG!….JILLLLLL-BERG!”
———————————
“As you know, DWF Owner William Peters and Missouri Valley Wrestling CEO Jason Carmondy came to terms on merging DWF’s Women’s Division with MVW. Last night on MVWA 13, DWF Women’s Champion Jill Berg and MVW Champion and former DWF Women’s Champion Miss USA signed the contract to make the match official.”
(Courtesy of Missouri Valley Wrestling)
Paige McGillicutty and Dame Judith Carmondy stand in the ring behind a large cardboard table with two chairs to each side.
Paige: “At this time, I’d like to call out the 25th ranked female wrestler according to the World eWrestling Rag. She is the DWF Women’s Champion……JILL-BERG!”
THUMP
THUMP
THUMP-THUMP-THUMP
THUMP
THUMP
THUMP-THUMP-THUMP
The video screen goes to just outside a dressing room in the back. A police escort is waiting at the door. One of the policemen knocks on the door.
Policeman: “Ms. Berg. It’s time.”
The door opens and eight large male bodybuilding types walk out of the dressing room surrounding a petite woman and her male assistant in the middle. The woman is busy talking on her cell phone while the man furiously scribbles down notes as the group makes their way towards the ring.
THUMP
THUMP
THUMP-THUMP-THUMP
The procession emerges from the back and starts their way down the ramp.
Her assistant has a microphone and a portable tape recorder. He flips it on.
“JILLLLL-BERG…JILLLLL-BERG…”
The group then continues towards the ring leaving the police escort behind.
“JILLLLL-BERG…JILLLLL-BERG…”
The eight bodyguards assist Ms. Berg into the ring. She, her assistant, and the bodyguards immediately go to a corner.
“JILLLLL-BERG…JILLLLL-BERG…”
Berg continues to talk on her cell phone.
“JILLLLL-BERG…JILLLLL-BERG…”
Paige: “Next, she is ranked 6th by the World eWrestling Rag. A former DWF Women’s champion, she is the Missouri Valley Wrestling Association Champion- MISS U-S-A!”
*Instrumental break from Toby Keith’s ‘Courtesy of the Red, White, and Blue plays*
“Oh, justice will be served and the battle will rage:
This big dog will fight when you rattle his cage.
An’ you’ll be sorry that you messed with the U.S. of A…”
Miss USA comes out with her right hand in the air.
“…’Cos we’ll put a boot in your ass, it’s the American way…”
She’s joined by Angels of Death (Angel Casey and Angel Scott), “Rock and Roll Chick” Shanna Barrett and her manager Molly Hatchett, Weathergirl Hallie, “Lingerie Girl” Brandi Bayless, “Sweet Southern Comfort” Jackie Daniels, and VIP Brin.
“…Hey, Uncle Sam put your name at the top of his list,
And the Statue of Liberty started shaking her fist.
And the eagle will fly and it’s gonna be hell,
When you hear Mother Freedom start ringing her bell.
And it’ll feel like the whole wide world is raining down on you.
Ah, brought to you, courtesy of the red, white and blue.”
Miss USA and entourage climb into the ring and stake out the opposite corner.
Paige: “Okay. If we can just have Jill and Miss USA step to the table to sign off…”
Jill clicks off her cell phone and hands it to her assistant. She confidently strides to the chair on her side of the table and sits.
Miss USA high fives Daniels and joins Jill Berg at the table.
Paige: “Ladies, you know what the stakes are. The winner of this match will be the Missouri Valley Wrestling champion and the Dream Women’s title will be no more. Are you ready to sign?”
Both nod affirmatively.
Paige: “Okay.”
Dame Judith Carmondy hands the contract to Jill Berg first. Jill meticulously analyzes each and every clause before she takes a pen sitting off to the side and signs the paper.
Paige: “Very good. Now, Miss USA.”
Miss USA also closely studies the contract before taking a pen and signing off on it.
Paige: “That’s it then. Next Sunday on Dream Wrestling Federation’s Golden Dreams Pay Per View, it’ll be Jill Berg versus Miss USA in a title unification match with the winner becoming the undisputed Missouri Valley Wrestling Champion.”
————————–
Every Thursday Night from our friends at High Octane Wrestling
—————————————————————
Zenk: “This match is for the MVW Tag Team Television Title. On their way to the ring at this time, The Mercenaries!”
[The Mercenaries come to the ring. ]
Zenk: “And their opponents, the Vatican Vice Squad.”
Paige: “All right. This one is for all the marbles. Judith?”
Judith: “The Mercenaries had their moments in the first match. But you could tell they haven’t tagged together much. I’ll go with the Vatican Vice Squad on this one due to their experience. ”
(the bell rings)
Paige: “And there’s the bell.”
[Dawn McGill tackles Sister Mary. McGill follows with a superkick and a punch to the gut. Sister Mary reverses. Bulldog to McGill. Sister Mary with her own punches. Now McGill in a waist lock, and she gets planted with a Belly to Belly Suplex. McGill fights back...now she's got Sister Mary up. Vertical facebuster on Sister Mary. Sister Mary grabs ahold of McGill's waist....she hits a Overhead Belly to Belly Suplex. Sister Sandy tagged in by Sister Mary. McGill makes the tag to Daniels. Daniels in and clashes with Sister Sandy. Sister Sandy gets the upper hand and hits a German suplex on Daniels. Sister Sandy grabs ahold of Daniels's waist....Overhead Belly to Belly Suplex.]
Paige: “The Sisters seem to like that belly-to-belly suplex.”
Judith: “It’s working quite nicely for them.”
[Sister Sandy and Daniels lock up. Sister Sandy sends Daniels for a ride to the corner of the ring. Sister Sandy charges. Daniels lifts her into the air and delivers a spine buster. Daniels locks in the Scorpion Deathlock. Davey Keels asks Sister Sandy if she quits. ... ... Daniels tightens the hold. Sister Mary in a double axe handles Daniels. Daniels brings in McGill. Sister Sandy clotheslines McGill. McGill responds with a gouge to the eyes. Russian Leg Sweep by McGill. McGill clotheslines Sister Sandy. She pulls her up and sends her into the ropes...Drop Toe Hold by McGill. McGill picks up Sister Sandy and plants her with the Power Driver. McGill calls for a chair. She sets it on Sister Sandy and climbs to the top turnbuckle...450 Splash onto the chair and Sister Sandy! Sister Mary in. Jackie Daniels clotheslines her. Davey Keels counts the pin. ...1 ...2 ...3
Zenk: “The winners of this match, and new MVW Tag Team Television Title champions, The Mercenaries!!!”
Paige: “They’ve done it. On their first night as a tag team, Jackie Daniels and Dawn McGill put it all together and they are the MVW Tag Team Champions.”
Judith: “Yes. Quite an accomplishment.”
Paige: “That’s it for tonight. No show next week but be sure to watch Dream Wrestling Federation for the Miss USA/Jill Berg title unificiation match.”
Tonight on MVWA 13
From Omaha, Nebraska.
MVW will be conducting a one night only, tag team tournament to crown a MVW Tag Team Television Champion.
Also, Miss USA and Jill Berg sign off on MVW, DWF Women’s unification match next week at Dream Wrestling Federation’s Golden Dreams.
Women’s Top 25 Released: Miss USA #6, Carrieanne McDermott #24, Jill Berg #25
WOMEN’S TOP 25
1. Kirsta Lewis – HOW, Simcoe Co., TFWF, VWF 51
2. Katherine Stryfe- HIW ** 48
3. Alexia- VWF ** 46
4. Valora Salinas- WMW 41
5. Glory Braddock- GDW * 33
6. Miss USA- MVW * 30.2
7. Callie Urban- FWO ** 30.1
8. Sydney Laroux- Simcoe County 30
9. Scarlett Willis- Simcoe County 27
10. Karina Wolfenden- FWO 25
11. Michelle Masters – FWO 24
11. Cecile Lecrux- Siberian Wrestling 24
13. Shade- VWF * 23.2
14. Latrisha- PWR 23
15. Bellatrix Drake- cWo * 22.2
16. Ashleigh McDaniel- SCW ** 22
17. Aimz (Amy Campbell)- SCCW 21
17. Serena- UWF 21
19. Abbey Spears- Siberian Wrestling ** 19.1
20. Bobbinette Carey – HOW 19
21. Lora KirK- DWF * 18
22. Hannah Rickman- PWR, TFWF ** 17.1
23. Stevie Swing- TFWF 17
24. Carrieanne McDermott- MVW ** 16.1
25. Mad Maddie- cWo 16
25. Jill Berg- DWF/MVW 16
ALSO:
30. Tessa Martin
32. Katie Collins
44. Brooke Evans
53. Dawn McGill
Miss USA/Jill Berg to Meet to Unify the MVW and DWF Women’s Belts
The contract signing will take place this Sunday at MVWA 13 and the match will be held at Dream Wrestling Federation’s Golden Dreams pay per view show. As of right now, Missouri Valley Wrestling has a show scheduled for that night as well- MVWA 14. It is expected that MVW CEO Jason Carmondy, who made an appearance on DWF’s Insomnia show this past Tuesday, will address and clarify what will take place that next Sunday.
Carmondy is also expected to talk about the possibility of adding a second tag team title into the mix this Sunday at MVWA 13. The official card has not been released yet but it is expected to be published sometime tonight.
The match was signed after Berg won the Women’s title this past Tuesday night on DWF Insomnia. DWF Owner William Peters then came out with MVW CEO Jason Carmondy and announced that he was ‘outsourcing’ the women’s division to Missouri Valley Wrestling.
This is a homecoming of sorts for Miss USA who was the DWF Women’s champion earlier this year. Jill Berg is unbeaten in her career and claims to have won 42 consecutive matches.
MVW-TV Presents: MVWA 12
Missouri Valley Wrestling
Roberts Stadium
Evansville, Indiana
Sunday, October 25th
Hosts: Johnny Suave and Dame Judith Carmondy
Suave: “Good evening, everyone. Welcome to Missouri Valley Wrestling. Yes, I am not Tessa Martin. If you weren’t stuck under a rock the last week, you know why I’m here. If you were…well…here’s the reason I’m here…
REPLAY FROM LAST TUESDAY NIGHT’S DWF INSOMNIA:
…KirK back in the ring and Tessa works on her arm again. Tessa grounds KirK and drives her knee into the shoulder. Kirk powers to her feet. Tessa works the arm and backs KirK into a corner. She chops the hell out of her again before KirK ducks out of the corner and breaks away. Reverse Irish whip by KirK throws Tessa into the corner. KirK advances on Tessa. Tessa calls for her oversized pizza box. Dawn McGill grabs the box. KirK gets closer. Tessa again calls for the box. Dawn climbs up on the apron, raises the box, and then blasts Tessa in the face with it. Sin: “WHAT THE HELL? SHE…SHE…I DON’T BELIEVE IT.” Capp: “I can’t believe it either.” Sin: “Dawn McGILL JUST DOUBLECROSSED THE EXTREME PIZZA DELIVERY GIRL!” The referee immediately calls for the bell. Dawn climbs in the ring and lifts Tessa up and power-bombs her to the mat. The crowd can’t believe what they are seeing. Lucien Walker: “Winner of this match by disqualification, TESSA MARTIN! Still DREAM Women’s Champion, Lora KirK!”
McGill mouths to Tessa. “I’m sorry. It’s not personal. It’s business.” Sin: “Tessa will win the match by disqualification but Lora retains the title.” Capp: “See. I told you Lora would come through. Sin: “NO! NO! THIS CAN’T BE HAPPENING! THE CROWD IS THROWING DEBRIS INTO THE RING!” Dawn drags an unconscious Tessa back up. Sin: “NO! THAT’S ENOUGH!” She slams Tessa down a second time with enough force that Tessa’s body bounces several inches up off the canvas and the momentum sends her over to a corner ring post. Tessa’s leg whiplashes off the ring post with a sickening ‘crack’. The referee immediately raises his arms in the ‘X’ signal to the back. Capp: “She’s hurt.” Sin: “You could hear that sound all over the arena.” A stunned Dawn looks down at Tessa. She bends down to check on her. Lora KirK runs up from behind and rams Dawn, who goes through the ropes out to the floor. EMT’s rush by Dawn and pile into the ring to attend to Tessa. Sin: “This is not good. Look at McGill.” McGill is now standing. Her hand is on her forehead as she looks on in disbelief. Debris flies at her from all directions. She finally backs her way up the aisle towards the back…
Suave: “I just got word that the Missouri Valley Wrestling Champion Miss USA is going to come out and address what happened on Tuesday night. Also on the docket for tonight, Amy Mason and Caroline Kelly, both formerly of Dream Wrestling Federation, will debut here tonight on MVW.” Judith: “Who in the world is THAT?” Two armed guards wheel a gurney with someone strapped onto it. The person wears a mask a la Silence of the Lambs and is straitjacketed. Suave: “Oh. That’s Dr. Annabel Lecktor. She’s wrestling here tonight.” Judith: “Oh…my…God.” Dr. Lecktor is unstrapped from the gurney by her handler, FBI Special Agent Charlize Starling. Suave: “Yeah, she just signed over at HOW but she’s getting a couple matches in here to get back in wrestling shape.” American Pi climbs into the ring. Judith: “Poor, poor American Pi.”
MATCH #1:
Dr. Annabel ‘The Cannibal’ Lecktor w/FBI Special Agent Charlize Starling vs. American Pi.
["...Dr. Lecktor climbs to her feet. Dr. Lecktor and American Pi go to the floor Davey Keels starts the count (.1) FBI Special Agent Charlize Starling gives American Pi an Ace Crusher thru a table! Dr. Lecktor puts American Pi in an arm grapevine submission. Dr. Lecktor applies an arm wrench to American Pi. They head back into the ring. Dr. Lecktor puts American Pi thru a table with a beautiful Senton Bomb! Dr. Lecktor is up again. Dr. Lecktor sets the chair on American Pi...Dr. Lecktor hits a Big Splash on the chair and American Pi!! Dr. Lecktor choke slams American Pi. American Pi looks to be out cold! Dr. Lecktor puts the chair on American Pi's body...Dr. Lecktor climbs up top...Splash onto the chair!! The ref starts the count. ...1 ...2 ...3"]
WINNER in 8:05- Dr. Annabel Lecktor
——————————–
Every Monday Night from our friends at High Octane Wrestling
—————————————-
On right after Missouri Valley Wrestling at
Political Championship Wrestling
———————————-
Miss USA in the ring. Miss USA: “Dawn. I know you’re here tonight. Please come out here.” Suave: “Oh boy. Judith: “Johnny, even I am shocked by what happened to Tess. I’d like to hear Dawn’s explanation for what happened.” Dawn slowly comes out to a chorus of boos from the once friendly crowd. Suave: “This is kinda of hard to watch. Dawn’s been such a fan favorite no matter where she’s been.” McGill climbs into the ring. Miss USA: “Dawn, I’m…I’m shocked and appalled by what happened Tuesday night. All I want to know is…why? Why did you do this?” McGill looks down and away. Dawn: “Amy, no one feels as bad about what happened to her as I do.” Immediately, the cascade of jeers and catcalls roll in. Miss USA: “Yeah. I have to agree with the crowd. There’s no excuse for what you did. None.” Dawn: “Okay. There’s no excuse for what I did. Is that what you want to hear, Amy? There, I said it. I screwed up. Now I know how YOU felt when you bailed on Dream Wrestling a few months ago.” Miss USA: “Ex-excuse ME? You’re trying to equate what I did a few months back with THIS? I didn’t HAVE any friends over at Dream. I didn’t DO this to any of my friends. YOU did. Your friend is still laid up in Charlotte, North Carolina because of what YOU did. Don’t even try to connect the two, Dawn.” Dawn: “Then what do you want from me? I can’t apologize to Tessa because she won’t talk to me. Do you want me to apologize to you too? Fine. I’m sorry. I’m sorry this all happened. I wish I could go back in time and take it all back. If that’s not good enough for you, then…I quit. Find yourself another manager.” Dawn slides underneath the bottom rope and leaves the ring. Miss USA simply stares at her as she walks back up the aisle. Suave: “Wow. I’ve known Dawn McGill for over five years and I’ve never seen her like this.”
MATCH #2:
Amy Mason vs. Caroline Kelly
[...Mason moves back to her feet. Mason kicks Kelly in the gut, takes a few steps back, and scissor kicks him to the mat. Kelly moves back to her feet. Mason get nailed with a double axhandle chop from Kelly. Kelly jumps off the turnbuckle with the flying bodypress on Mason. Kelly is up again. Kelly knees Mason and rolls back to her feet. Mason stands up. Mason kicks Kelly in the gut, takes a few steps back, and scissor kicks her to the mat. Mason gets taken down with a corkscrew armdrag. Mason gets back to her feet. Kelly gets back into the match with a jumping neck snap on Mason. Kelly punches Mason in the gut. Mason kicks Kelly in the gut, takes a few steps back, and scissor kicks her to the mat. Now Kelly standing. Mason kicks Kelly in the gut, takes a few steps back, and scissor kicks her to the mat. Kelly climbs to her feet. Mason kicks Kelly in the gut, takes a few steps back, and scissor kicks him to the mat. Mason knee drops Kelly. Mason is up again. Mason gorrilla presses Kelly. Mason covers Kelly hooking the leg. Davey Keels counts. ...1 ...2 ...3]
WINNER at 9:41: Amy Mason
Suave: “So, in a battle between two refugees from Dream Wrestling’s women’s division, it’s Amy Mason prevailing over Caroline Kelly. Judith: “Nice little match there. These girls have some potential. I hope they stick around.”
Backstage
Jackie Daniels is in the back talking with Dawn McGill. Jackie: “Come on. Let’s do this. You and me. Tag team. You need an outlet for all this crap going on.” Dawn nods. Dawn: “Give me a second to go get ready.”
Suave: “Well, this ought to interesting. Jackie Daniels teaming up with Dawn McGill?” Judith: “Two troubled ladies teaming together. I’m not convinced this is the best of ideas.” Suave: “Well, we’ll find out in just a couple moments.”
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Every Thursday Night from our friends at High Octane Wrestling
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MATCH 3:
The Mercenaries: Jackie Daniels and Dawn McGill vs. The Star Trekkies: Missy Halverson and Sierra Jacobson
[...Daniels stands up. Jacobson tags Halverson. Daniels tackles Halverson and pummels her head. Halverson is up again. Halverson nails Daniels with a springboard dropkick. Halverson stands up. Halverson drags Daniels to the floor. Davey Keels starts the count (.1) Halverson chokes Daniels with a microphone cable. Halverson fist drops Daniels on the floor. McGill over and hits Halverson with a back fist. Daniels back up and takes Halverson into the ring. Halverson gets snap suplexed by Daniels. Daniels runs and tackles Halverson. Daniels punches her in the head. Twist of Fate by Daniels. Daniels covers Halverson. The ref starts the count. ...1 ...2 ...3]
WINNERS at 8:48: The Mercenaries
Suave: “So, the tag team of McGill and Daniels win their first outing. Honestly? They looked pretty damn good.” Judith: “Let’s wait and see. Jackie Daniels has a lot to prove before I’m ready to pronounce that team as a legitimate threat to the MVW Tag Team Champions, Angels of Death.” Suave: “All right. The TV Title on the line next as Carrieanne McDermott makes her first title defense right after this.”
———————————-
Politically Incorrect- Al Cahall and Nic Koteen w/’The Princess of
Political Incorrectness’ Andrea Doria
(Politically Incorrect)
vs.
Jack Schett and Bull Schett w/Horst Schett and
Hans Gruber- The Extreme German Schnauzer
(Ron Paul’s New Libertarian Army)
NCIF’d
vs.
Guys With Unfortunate Last Names-
Michael Hunt and Richard Headd
PLUS:
Barack Obama answers questions concerning the arrest of
High Octane Wrestling’s Lee Best and his connection to him
Keith Olbermann’s Special, Special Comment
SNAFU address Dawn McGill and the Tessa Martin incident
PCW Champion ‘Hollywood A-Lister’ Stone Chism
calls out Starz N. Stripes
This and more political wrestling this Sunday Night at 10 PM
——————————
MATCH #4- Missouri Valley Wrestling Television Title Match:
Champion Carrieanne McDermott vs. Corrina Romanov
[...McDermott climbs to her feet. Romanov gets up. McDermott grabs Romanov by the arm and breaks it over her shoulder. Romanov hits McDermott with an inverted atomic drop. Romanov delivers a stiff inverted power bomb send McDermott hard to the mat. Romanov slingshot elbow drops McDermott. Romanov hits McDermott with an elbow drop from the second turnbuckle. Romanov gets up. They lockup. McDermott sends Romanov to the corner of the ring. McDermott kicks Romanov in the back of the leg. Romanov is up again. McDermott with the hammerlock on Romanov. Davey Keels is checking for a tap out. ... McDermott tightens the hold. ... ... ... (AHHHH!) ... Romanov is fighting the hold. ... ... (AHHHH!) ... ... McDermott tightens the hold. ... Romanov taps out.]
This Sunday on MVW-TV- MVWA 12
Missouri Valley Wrestling Association
Dr. Annabel Lecktor w/FBI Special Agent Charlize Starling
vs.
American Pi
Amy Mason
vs.
Caroline Kelly
The Mercenaries: Dawn McGill and “Sweet Southern Comfort” Jackie Daniels
vs.
Star Trekkies
MVW Television Champion Carrieanne McDermott
vs.
Corrina Romanov
Sunday night at 9 PM
MVW Announcer Tessa Martin Breaks Leg At DWF Insomnia
From Dream Wrestling Federation:
“Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl” Tessa Martin will be out of commission for at least three months after breaking her leg during her match last night at Insomnia.
From last night’s Insomnia:
[Dawn drags an unconscious Tessa back up.
Sin: "NO! THAT’S ENOUGH!"
She slams Tessa down a second time with enough force that Tessa’s body bounces several inches up off the canvas and the momentum sends her over to a corner ring post. Tessa's leg whiplashes off the ring post with a sickening 'crack'. The referee immediately raises his arms in the 'X' signal to the back.
Capp: "She's hurt."
Sin: "You could hear that sound all over the arena.]
Tessa Martin underwent surgery today to set her broken leg after taking a vicious powerbomb from Dawn McGill that slammed her leg into the steel ringpost. A source indicates that the surgery was successful and Martin should be released from Charlotte’s Presbyterian Hospital in a couple days to return to Ohio to recuperate.
***UPDATE
Miss USA flew down to Charlotte earlier today and reports that Tessa will be staying in Charlotte through next Tuesday at the earliest. Tessa may be appearing on DWF’s Slaughter show on Monday night to address what happened to her.
MVW-TV Special: MVW Matches from Lock and Load Four
MVW-TV Special
Missouri Valley Wrestling Association
MATCH #2- MVW
Jill Berg
vs.
’Trailer Park Skater Girl’ Tanya Hardy w/Trailer Park Barbi and the White Trash Posse
Suave: “We are ready for match number two. Jack Zenk is in the ring for the introductions.”
*’Queen of My Doublewide Trailer’ by Sammy Kershaw plays*
Well I met her out at Murphy’s restaurant
She said she was fresh from the farm
And I remember thinkin’ for a country girl
That she went pretty well armed
We sat there talkin’ by the lobster tank
I ordered her a slow gin fizz
And when them chicken fried steaks arrived
She said I like living like this
Zenk stands in the middle of the ring. Zenk: “Our next match is a Missouri Valley Wrestling match with a one fall, thirty-minute time limit. Already in the ring at this time, from Sullivan, Oregon, accompanied by Trailer Park Barbi and Shane and Jeff- the White Trash Posse, ‘TRAILER PARK SKATER GIRL’ TANYA HARDY!”
So I made her the queen of my double wide trailer
With the polyester curtains and the redwood deck
Times she’s run off and I’ve got to trail her
Dang her black heart and her pretty red neck
Everyone points at Trailer Park Barbi. Crowd: “She’s a crack whore (clap clap clap-clap-clap) She’s a crack whore (clap clap clap-clap-clap) “ Barbi turns around and starts flipping everyone off. Judith: “That’s a horrible thing to say. Is this the way the crowd always acts?” Suave: “Actually…” Tessa: “…yes.” Judith: “Terrible. Terrible indeed.”
Zenk: “And her opponent tonight…”
THUMP
THUMP
THUMP-THUMP-THUMP
THUMP
THUMP
THUMP-THUMP-THUMP
The video screen goes to just outside a dressing room in the back. A police escort is waiting at the door. One of the policemen knocks on the door.
Policeman: “Ms. Berg. It’s time.”
Zenk: “She is unbeaten, winning all thirty-six of her matches to date. From the financial district of New York City- JILL BERG!”
Suave: “This ought to be interesting.” Tessa: “I have no idea who this woman is. But she showed up on Dream a couple weeks ago and attacked Dawn and me.”
The door opens and four large male bodybuilding types walk out of the dressing room surrounding a petite woman and her male assistant in the middle. The woman is busy talking on her cell phone while the man furiously scribbles down notes as the group makes their way towards the ring. Judith: “Interesting.”
THUMP
THUMP
THUMP-THUMP-THUMP
The procession emerges from the back and starts their way down the ramp.
The male assistant has a microphone and a portable tape recorder. He flips it on.
“JILLLLL-BERG…JILLLLL-BERG…”
The group then continues towards the ring leaving the police escort behind.
“JILLLLL-BERG…JILLLLL-BERG…”
The four bodyguards assist Ms. Berg into the ring. She and her assistant immediately go to a corner.
“JILLLLL-BERG…JILLLLL-BERG…”
Berg continues to talk on her cell phone while protected by two of the bodybuilders.
“JILLLLL-BERG…JILLLLL-BERG…”
The second Berg gets into the ring, her four bodyguards immediately attack Hardy. Berg stays in her corner and talks on her cell phone. Suave: “Here we go. Berg’s bodyguards jump Hardy.” Tessa: ”That’s their M.O.” The White Trash Posse immediately wade in and get their clocks cleaned by the bodyguards. Trailer Park Barbi wanders over to where Berg and her assistant are. She pushes Berg back into the corner turnbuckle. Berg: “Hold on.” She hands the phone to her assistant. Berg chops Barbi with a knife edge chop to the back of her head. Berg: “Don’t ever lay a hand on me again.” Barbi’s unconscious on the mat. Berg takes the phone back and continues her conversation. Judith: “Did you see that?” Tessa: “Um…yeah? She must have a lot of karate experience.”
Two bodyguards hold Trailer Park Skater Girl Tanya Hardy up. Jill sees it and nods. She hands the phone to her assistant and immediately launches herself towards her. Jill ducks her head and spears Hardy, sending her back into the corner turnbuckle.
Hardy tips forward. Berg lets her fall over her shoulder and then she walks out a couple steps. In one fluid motion, Berg steps forward and jackhammer slams her to the mat. She covers. The referee counts…1…2…3.
THUMP
THUMP
THUMP-THUMP-THUMP
THUMP
THUMP
THUMP-THUMP-THUMP
Zenk: “The winner in thirty-five seconds and now…37 and 0- JILL BERG!” The bodyguards again surround Berg and her assistant and escorts her to the back. Suave: “Whoa. Thirty-five seconds?” Tessa: “Yeah, no kidding. Tell me about it. Jill Berg racks up another win here over ‘Trailer Park Skater Girl’ Tanya Hardy.” Nurse Nellie and the PCW Clean-Up crew run down to the ring to attend to Trailer Park Barbi. Judith: “I hope she’s all right.”
——————————-
Replay: 9/6 MVWA 7
Brooke Evans vs. Carrieanne McDermott
Headlock exchanges, McDermott runs off the ropes and tries a shoulder block. Nope, won’t work against the Manchester Masterpiece. McDermott tries kicking. Evans just takes her down. She whips McDermott off the ropes. Evans catches the leapfrog attempt and turns it into a fireman’s carry cutter. Follow up fist drop by Evans, a scoop slam and a second rope knee drop which misses. McDermott goes to work on the leg and grapevines it. Evans uses her strength to pull herself to the ropes. McDermott wraps the leg in the ropes then dropkicks it. Shinbreaker by McDermott and the figure four is applied!]…
…Snap mare and a fist drop by Evans. She goes to the second rope and drops a knee on McDermott. Cover…1…2…no, McDermott gets the shoulder up. Evans wants a vertical suplex but McDermott slips out. She tries another dropkick but Evans sees it coming and moves. Vertical Suplex on the way…Evans connects! 1…2…no! Evans now with a German Suplex…she brings McDermott down with authority. Evans for the Dragon Suplex…McDermott desperately hits a palm strike to the face. Evans with a wicked chop sends McDermott reeling. She hangs McDermott in the tree of woe.]
Tessa: “Cannonball coming…whoa! High impact against that steel ringpost. Evans again looking for the Dragon Suplex…and this time, McDermott may need the 82nd Airborne to stop her.”
[Evans hits the Dragon Suplex. Cover…1...2...3.]
Replay: 9/13-MVWA 8
Brooke Evans vs. Miss USA
[Evans responds with a gut-wrench suplex on Miss USA. ABDOMINAL STRETCH! EVANS HAS THE ABDOMINAL STRETCH ON MISS USA AND I DON'T KNOW IF SHE CAN GET OUT OF IT!"
[Referee Davey Keels is checking for a tap out. ...Evans tightens the hold.]
Suave: “No wait! THAT’S CARRIEANNE McDERMOTT! SHE’S GOT A CHAIR! *CLANG* HOLY CRAP!”
[Evans releases the hold and slides to the canvas. McDermott begins to wail on her with the chair.]
Suave: “These two ladies do not like each other! But Carrieanne McDermott may have just cost Brooke Evans a win over the PCW Champion Miss USA!”
[Security runs out again and tries to separate the two.]
Replay: 9/20- MVWA 9
Corrina Romanov vs. Carrieanne McDermott
Tessa: “Romanov’s in trouble…and here comes Brooke Evans!”
[Evans blasts McDermott with a chair.]
Tessa: “McDermott never saw her coming! She’s down outside the ring.”
Judith: “Those girls really need to resolve their differences inside a steel cage or something.”
MATCH #4 MVW TV Title Match
‘The Manchester Masterpiece’ Brooke Evans ©
vs.
‘Scotland’s Favorite Daughter’ Carrieanne McDermott
Zenk: “Our next match is one fall, forty-five minutes and is for the Missouri Valley Wrestling Television Title. On her way to the ring at this time, weighing in at 155 pounds, from Manchester, England, she holds the MVWA TV Title title belt, she is the Manchester Masterpiece- BROOKE EVANS!” Evans walks to the ring.
Zenk: “And her opponent, weighing in at 120 pounds, from Glasgow, Scotland, Scotland’s Favorite Daughter- CARRIEANNE McDERMOTT! McDermott slides into the ring. Zenk: “Ron Martin is the referee for this contest.” The bell rings. McDermott rushes out. Evans kicks her in the groin. Tessa: “Carrieanne McDermott and Brooke Evans hate each other with a passion. This is going to be a war.” Judith: “But at some point, Tess. McDermott has to get a win. She’s oh for her MVW career against Evans.” Evans hooks McDermott’s arms back in a reverse nelson, places her forearms in the crooks of her elbows. Evans’s hands are on top of McDermott’s back in a butcher’s grip. Evans lifts her into an upside-down vertical position and falls back, shifting McDermott to one side and flips over. Tessa: “Double underhook Suplex by Evans. She covers right away. Two count!” Evans pulls McDermott up and hooks McDermott’s right leg with her left arm. She places her right arm around her waist and hoists McDermott up into the air. Evans spins to the left in a 180 degree turn and slams her down landing on her knees. Tessa: “Spinebuster.” Judith: “Brooke is pulling out the big moves tonight.” Tessa: “She’s going for the quick kill. Evans wraps her legs around McDermott’s neck. Figure-four sleeper!” Judith: “Very quick kill. Ron Martin checks the situation.” Tessa: “Carrieanne McDermott is in big trouble. Brooke Evans has her stuck in a bad situation.” McDermott starts squirming and trying to slip out. She tries to pry Evans’s legs apart with her arms. Tessa: “She gets out. Somehow, McDermott escapes.” Judith: “Too close for comfort if you’re the challenger. It’s been all Evans so far.”
Evans picks up McDermott and side slams her back to the mat. Again, Evans hooks McDermott’s right leg with her left arm, places her right arm around her waist, and hoists McDermott up into the air. She spins to the left in a 180 degree turn and slams McDermott down landing on her knees. Tessa: “Another spinebuster by Brooke Evans and she’s bent on not only defeating Carrieanne McDermott but destroying her. Now she’s locked in a bear hug.” Ron Martin asks Carrieanne if she quits. McDermott says no and fights the hold. Back kick to the groin by McDermott. Evans releases the hold. McDermott desperately throws Evans off the ropes, rolls on the ground, comes back up, and delivers a clothesline. Tessa: “That has to be Carrieanne’s first real offensive move in the match” McDermott dives head first into Evans just as she pulls herself up. Tessa: “McDermott with a spear and suddenly the momentum has changed. McDermott lines Evans up and nails a jumping sidekick. McDermott whips Evans into the corner. Evans trips over her feet and falls faces first into the middle turnbuckle. Tessa: “Oooh. That did not look good.” Judith: “Brooke’s grabbing her neck. She may have jammed it into the turnbuckle.” School boy roll up by McDermott. Ron Martin to the mat. One. Two. Three. Tessa: “She’s done it! Carrieanne McDermott is the new Missouri Valley Wrestling Television Champion!”
Jack Zenk in the ring. Zenk: “At eleven minutes and twenty seconds, the winner of this match, and new Missouri Valley Wrestling Television champion, Carrieanne McDermott!” Nurse Nellie and the PCW Clean Up crew again out to check on Brooke Evans. Tessa: “No doubt. That was an ugly fall for The Manchester Masterpiece Brooke Evans. But let’s not take anything away from the grit and determination shown by Carrieanne McDermott.” Judith: “I have to agree. She’s tried over and over to defeat Evans and finally comes through on a big stage. It’s a shame that Evans’s injury will probably overshadow her big win.”
——————————-
MATCH #6 Missouri Valley Wrestling Tag Team Title
Angels of Death ©
vs.
VIP Brin & Sky w/Bethany
Suave: “I am so looking forward to this match, too. Angels of Death is one of my favorite tag teams.” Tessa: “I don’t think you’ll be disappointed, Johnny. VIP has proven themselves to be very capable in the ring though. This won’t be a walkover.” Judith: “VIP has indeed shown great improvement over the past three months. I still don’t think it’s enough to overcome the AoD.”
ack Zenk in the ring and we’re ready to go. Zenk: “Our next match is a one fall, sixty minute time limit for the Missouri Valley Wrestling Tag Team Title.”
*If You Want Blood (You Got It) by AC/DC starts to play*
It’s criminal
there ought to be a law
criminal
there ought to be a whole lot more
you get a nothin’ for nothin’
tell me who can you trust
we got what ya want
and you got the lust
Zenk: “From Washington, Pennsylvania, she is Ms. Lethal Weapon- Angel Casey! From Morgantown, Pennsylvania, she is the Terminatrix- Angel Scott. The Missouri Valley Wrestling Tag Team Champions- ANGELS of DEATH!”
If you want blood (YOU GOT IT)
If you want blood (YOU GOT IT)
BLOOD on the streets
BLOOD on the rocks
BLOOD in the gutter, EVERY LAST DROP, YOU WANT BLOOD
you got it
yes you have
Scott and Casey bound into the ring.
Zenk: “And their opponents tonight, from Scarsdale, New York, Brin. And from Westport, Connecticut, Sky. Managed by VIP Bethany- the team of V-I-P! Brin, Sky, and Bethany hit the ring with high energy and look ready to go. Tessa: “This could be very interesting. VIP does not want to get into an out and out brawl with the AoD.” Judith: “Angels of Death will maul them if VIP tries to match them punch for punch. VIP needs to use their quickness to keep Angel Scott at bay.”
Referee Ron Martin calls for the bell. Tessa: “It’ll be Angel Scott and VIP Brin to start.” Scott runs out and clotheslines VIP Brin. VIP Brin tags VIP Sky. Scott grabs VIP Sky and applies an arm wrench. Angel Casey goes top turnbuckle and delivers a diving elbow smash. Casey scurries back to her corner. Scott scoops Brin up and slams her back down. Back to her corner, Scott tags in Casey. Casey goes side headlock on VIP Sky. DDT into the mat. Lockup in the middle. Casey sends VIP Sky to the corner of the ring. Scott spins Sky around and clocks her with a nasty right hand shot. Sky stumbles back to Casey. Lift. Atomic drop. Casey grabs her by the hair and slams her face first to the mat. Tessa: “Bulldog. Angels of Death on their game so far.” Judith: “They’ve come out working at a high level and VIP can’t keep up.” Casey top rope. She leaps and spins two and half times before landing on VIP Sky. Tessa: “450 Splash! Casey hooks the leg. One…two…VIP Brin makes the save.” Judith: “And a good thing too. I don’t think Sky would have kicked out.”
VIP Brin uses her arms to encircle the Casey’s neck. Tessa: “Guillotine choke on Angel Casey.” Casey tries to fight out of it. Angel Scott in with a forearm shot to the back to break the hold. Casey goes low on Brin. Casey tags in Angel Scott. VIP Sky pokes Scott in the eye with his thumb. Scott grabs Sky’s leg and takes her down. Scott covers. Martin gets to 1. Sky gets the shoulder up. Sky brings in VIP Brin. Brin superkicks Scott. Tessa: “That staggered the big girl. Scott back to her corner.” Scott brings in Angel Casey. Casey spins and hits VIP Brin with the back of her elbow. Casey kicks her in the stomach. Angel Scott tagged back in. Scott fist drops VIP Brin on the mat. Scott goes for the pin. Referee Ron Martin again makes the count. …1 VIP Brin kicks out. Brin brings in VIP Sky. Sky uses a running lariat to take Scott down. They both roll out to the floor. Tessa: “I’m not sure this is a good idea for VIP Sky. The Angels can be very effective on the floor.”
Martin starts the count (.1) (..2) Lockup. Sky sends Scott to the steel barricade. (…3) Scott right back up and kicks VIP Sky in the groin. (….4) Scott bounces Sky off the barricades. Angel Casey arrives. She shoots off the ring apron and clotheslines VIP Sky. (…..5) Scott drags VIP Sky back into the ring. Scott hits a jawbreaker on VIP Sky. Scott tags in Casey. Angel Scott pulls VIP Sky to her and flips her over with the belly-to-belly suplex. Casey punches VIP Sky in the gut and leg lariats her sending him to the mat. Scott tackles VIP Sky and pummels his head
Scott fist drops VIP Sky on the mat. Sky gets hit with a diving elbow smash from Angel Casey. Sky makes the tag to VIP Brin. VIP Brin and Sky punches Casey repeatedly. Casey rakes both VIP Sky and Brin’s eyes. Casey tags Angel Scott. Scott jabs VIP Brin. Brin tags in VIP Sky. VIP Sky gets under and lifts Scott up. She spins her around, airplane spin, and throws her onto the mat. VIP Sky bounces Scott off the ropes and hits a backdrop. VIP Brin again gets under Scott and airplane spins Scott. Tessa: “This is a bit of surprise. But VIP continues to hang in there.” Scott bounces VIP Brin off the ropes, spins her around, and faceslams her onto the mat. Sky gets caught with another flying elbow smash to the face from Angel Casey. Scott slaps Sky’s face. Sky rakes the eyes. VIP Sky tags in Brin. Scott lifts VIP Brin up and drops her to the mat. Brin whips Scott and eats a flying forearm on the return. Scott nearly decapitates Brin with a clothesline. Brin back up and Scott does it again. Brin back up and Scott hits a third clothesline. Scott tags in Angel Casey. Casey goes to the top rope and hits a flying lariat. Casey hooks the legs. Martin counts. One…two…Brin kicks out. Brin avoids a German Suplex attempt and goes for a kick. Casey counters it into the STF. Brin’s close enough to the ropes to grab the bottom one.
Casey tags Scott back in. Scott latches on a bearhug on Brin. Referee Ron Martin is checking for a tap out…..Brin tries to escape. Brin is able to propel herself back into Scott and escape. Scott and VIP Brin go to the floor. Martin starts the count (.1) Scott grabs a chair and hits VIP Brin. Tessa: “OW! That busted Brin open.” (..2) Scott kicks VIP Brin in the groin. (…3) Scott spins her around and lifts her up for a faceslam onto the floor. Sky tries to make the save but Angel Casey missile dropkicks her from the ring apron. (….4) Scott grabs VIP Brin and shoves her face repeatedly into the floor. (…..5) (……6) VIP Sky and Casey brawl on the outside. Brin gets drug by the hair back into the ring by Scott. Brin pokes Scott in the eyes. She dives for her corner to make a tag but Sky isn’t home. Scott makes the tag to Casey. Scott shoots through the ropes and spears Sky on the outside. Casey goes off the top rope with a somersault legdrop onto Brin’s chest. Casey scampers back up and jumps again from the top rope, nailing VIP Brin on the top of her head. Casey clasps the neck and hit a jumping neck snap on Brin. Casey tags Scott back in. Casey goes off the top turnbuckle and double foot stomps Brin. Scott scoops VIP Brin up in a fireman’s carry and flapjacks her to the canvas. Scott grabs Brin’s leg and takes her down. Angel Scott measures VIP Brin up and drops a closed fist. Brin, blood dripping from her forehead, crawls and makes it to her corner. Sky tags in. VIP Sky gets underneath Scott and spins her in an airplane spin followed by a slam. VIP Sky leg drops Scott. Scott right back up. Sky sends Scott to the corner of the ring. Scott pops Sky in the kisser with a punch. She lifts her up and vertical facebuster’s Sky to the canvas. Brin goes to the floor. Tessa: “I’m not sure VIP Brin is any safer at ringside.”
Martin starts the count. (.1) Judith: “Probably not.” Now VIP Brin standing. (..2) VIP Brin pins Scott against the edge of the ring and chokes her with her forearm. (…3) Scott replies with an elbow smash to the face. (….4) followed by a slap in the face. Brin and Scott move back into the ring. Brin executes the jumping sidekick on Scott. Brin hits her with a back fist. VIP Brin takes Scott down with a knee. Brin kicks Scott in the back of the leg. Sky up on top. Shooting star press. Hook of the legs. Martin counts. …1…Scott escapes and heads to her corner. Casey tagged in by Scott. Brin bites Casey’s arm out of desperation. Short lariat by Brin. Brin to the corner turnbuckle. Shooting star press from VIP Brin. She hooks the legs. One… Casey gets the shoulder up. Casey back to her feet. Brin tags in VIP Sky. Casey goes for a flying kick but Sky dodges the attack. Casey tags back in Angel Scott.
VIP Sky slaps Scott and makes the tag to VIP Brin. VIP Brin bounces Scott off the ropes and clotheslines her. Sky tagged in by VIP Brin. VIP Brin puts Scott in an arm grapevine submission and drops the knee. Lockup. Scott sends VIP Brin to the corner of the ring. Casey tagged in by Angel Scott. Casey gets out there long enough to get speared by VIP Sky. VIP Sky grabs Casey’s arm, takes her down, and puts her in an armbar. Martin asks Casey if she quits. Casey says no. Casey rolls out to escape. Sky goes for a power move but Casey dodges. Casey hits Sky with a right hand punch. VIP Sky stumbles back to her corner and brings in VIP Brin. Casey hits a koppo kick on VIP Brin. Casey takes VIP Brin down with a leg sweep. Casey goes for a second move but Brin rolls back to her corner. Sky tagged in. Casey gets VIP Sky with a diving elbow smash. Casey and Scott now in the ring. They lift Sky up. Brin in to make the save. Tessa: “They were going for the DSD- Death Spiral Drop.” Judith: “And they would have hit it too if Brin wasn’t paying attention to what was going on out there. Casey to the second turnbuckle. Elbow drop from the second turnbuckle. Casey tags in Angel Scott. Scott scoops up Sky and slams her back down. She covers VIP Sky hooking the leg. Martin counts the pin. …1 …2 VIP Sky escapes.
VIP Sky slaps Scott and makes the tag to VIP Brin. VIP Brin bounces Scott off the ropes and clotheslines her. Sky tagged in by VIP Brin. VIP Brin puts Scott in an arm grapevine submission and drops the knee. Lockup. Scott sends VIP Brin to the corner of the ring. Casey tagged in by Angel Scott. Casey gets out there long enough to get speared by VIP Sky. VIP Sky grabs Casey’s arm, takes her down, and puts her in an armbar. Martin asks Casey if she quits. Casey says no. Casey rolls out to escape. Sky goes for a power move but Casey dodges. Casey hits Sky with a right hand punch. VIP Sky stumbles back to her corner and brings in VIP Brin. Casey hits a koppo kick on VIP Brin. Casey takes VIP Brin down with a leg sweep. Casey goes for a second move but Brin rolls back to her corner. Sky tagged in. Casey gets VIP Sky with a diving elbow smash. Casey and Scott now in the ring. They lift Sky up. Brin in to make the save. Tessa: “They were going for the DSD- Death Spiral Drop.” Judith: “And they would have hit it too if Brin wasn’t paying attention to what was going on out there. Casey to the second turnbuckle. Elbow drop from the second turnbuckle. Casey tags in Angel Scott. Scott scoops up Sky and slams her back down. She covers VIP Sky hooking the leg. Martin counts the pin. …1 …2 VIP Sky escapes.
VIP Sky up again. Casey tagged in by Scott. Casey with the crotch slam. Casey is up again. VIP Sky sends Casey to ringside. Ron Martin starts the count (.1) Sky throws a chair at Casey. They lockup. VIP Brin sends Casey to the corner of ringside. Casey with a headscissors takeover on Sky. VIP Sky bounces Angel Casey off the ropes and hits him with a backdrop. (..2) VIP Brin clotheslines Angel Casey. Sky punches Casey repeatedly. VIP Sky superkicks Casey. They head back into the ring. Casey kicks VIP Sky in the stomach. She jumps and executes the sit down face slam. Casey is back on his feet. Angel Casey jumps off of the turnbuckle nailing VIP Sky with an Asia Moonsault. Casey and Scott in now. They lift Sky off the ground. Death Spiral Drop! Casey goes for a pin. Ron Martin counts. …1 …2 …3
Jack Zenk in the ring. Zenk: “The winners of this match in thirty-one minutes and twelve seconds, and still Missouri Valley Wrestling Tag Team Title champions, Angel Scott, Angel Casey, Angels of Death!” Tessa: “That’s one of the best matches I’ve seen yet. VIP took AoD to the limit but in the end, Angel Casey and Angel Scott prevailed.”
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MATCH #8 MVW Title- Cage Match
Miss USA ©
vs.
Katie Collins
Tessa: “The cage is down. The stage is set for should be a classic. Miss USA versus Katie Collins- the third time around. Jack Zenk is in the ring.
Zenk: “This next match is one fall, sixty minute time limit, for the Missouri Valley Wrestling Title. On her way to the ring at this time, weighing in at 117 pounds, from Haines City, FL, accompanied by Dawn McGill, she is the Missouri Valley Wrestling Champion, Miss USA!” Miss USA comes to the ring. Tessa: “Here she comes. The MVW Champion Miss USA.” McGill and Miss USA climb into the cage.
Zenk: “The challenger tonight, weighing in at 155 pounds, from Binghamton, New York, she’s a three time PCW Women’s champion, Katie Collins!” Katie turns and waves to the crowd. Judith: “Well, despite my earlier misgivings, Miss USA has done a good job of establishing herself as the MVW champion. Tonight, she may be facing her stiffest challenge yet.” Tessa: “Katie wants the title badly.” Davey Keels sends McGill out of the cage and the door is closed and locked. Tessa: “We’re about ready. (ring, ring, ring) And here we go.” Miss USA and Collins circle each other warily. Each woman feints towards the other and then backs away. Lock up. Collins hits Miss USA with a baba chop. She whirls back around with a back fist. Collins uppercuts Miss USA and sends her staggering into the ropes. Tessa: “Katie Collins coming out with the heavy artillery early on!” Judith: “It’s her best mode of attack, Tess.” Collins shoulder tackles Miss USA. Collins back up. She sends Miss USA for the ride into the ropes…shoulder block #2. Collins turns her over and pulls her arm behind her. Tessa: “Hammerlock by Katie Collins.” Judith: “This stretches the pectorals and shoulder joint, and immobilizes the arm.” Tessa: “Referee Davey Keels is checking for a tap out. Miss USA escapes. Collins scoops up Miss USA and starts spinning. Tessa: “Airplane spin. Collins dumps Miss USA onto the mat and goes for the cage.” Collins climbs the cage. Miss USA gets her bearings back. She pulls Collins off the cage.
Kick attempt by Miss USA, Collins catches his leg. Miss USA flips around and kicks Collins. Elbow to the stomach by Miss USA. Flying shoulder block sends Collins sprawling to the mat. Collins slams her hand on the canvas and gets back up. She goes for a running lariat, Miss USA ducks under. Collins keeps on going and begins climbing the cage. Miss USA over and shakes the cage. Collins falls off. Miss USA jumps onto the top rope…hits a rope flip moonsault on Collins. Now she tries to climb the cage. Tessa: “She’s halfway up…” Judith: “She might make it.” Collins pulls herself up and shakes the cage. Tessa: “Miss USA tries to hang on! NO!” Miss USA loses her grip and goes down. Judith: “A long way to fall.” Collins delivers a nasty elbow smash to the face. Collins rakes her fingers across her back. Gouge to Miss USA’s eyes. Collins gets caught when Miss USA hits her with her own elbow smash. Quickly up the turnbuckle. Miss USA goes off the top turnbuckle…double foot stomp on Collins. She goes back up to the second turnbuckle. Elbow drop from the second turnbuckle. Diving elbow smash from Miss USA follows. Elbow drop. Collins back up. Flying side kick by Miss USA misses. Collins charges, wraps her arm around Miss USA’s upper chest and neck swings her legs forward, using the momentum to pull her down to the mat. Tessa: “Beautiful running neckbreaker by Katie Collins.” Collins starts to climb the cage. Miss USA pulls her right off.
Snap mare takeover by Collins. She misses with a lariat. Miss USA uses the ropes for momentum and hits a flying body press. She hooks the legs. One…two…kick out by Collins. Collins pokes Miss USA in the eyes. Miss USA returns with a jumping elbow thrust. Collins uses a closed fist on Miss USA. Back elbow smash follows. Collins places her head under Miss USA’s jaw and falls to a sitting position, driving her jaw the top of his/her head. Tessa: “Jawbreaker by Collins and that’ll take a lot of the starch out of you.” Collins goes second turnbuckle. Elbow drop by Collins misses. Judith: “Alert move by Miss USA. She rolled out of harm’s way before Collins could hit the elbow.” Front headlock by Miss USA. She drops backwards and drives Collins down to the mat head first. Tessa: “Springboard DDT by Miss USA. And now, she’s climbing up the cage again.” Miss USA is pulled off the cage by Katie Collins. Collins hits Miss USA with a headbutt to the mid-section. Miss USA hits a flying karate chop right to Collins’s neck. Collins jabs Miss USA. Miss USA hiptosses Collins to the mat. Diving elbow smash by Miss USA. Then an elbow drop. Tessa: “Back and forth, back and forth. Just when you think one gets the momentum, it turns on a dime. Miss USA has it right now.” Bulldog by Miss USA. She goes top turnbuckle. Five Star Shooting Star Press. Miss USA scrambles over to cover. Keels counts the pin. …1 Collins escapes. Katie Collins moves back to his feet. Miss USA dropkicks Collins to the face. Collins takes another Five Star Shooting Star Press from Miss USA. Keels counts…1 …2 Collins kicks out! Tessa: “Unbelieveable! Collins kicks out of two shooting star presses in a row!” Judith: “She’s tough, But right now, she’s in big trouble.” Miss USA begins climbing the cage. She reaches the top of the cage. Collins up. She shakes the cage…Miss USA goes down.
Female voice: “Hi Mom.” Judith: “Christa, how nice to see you.” Tessa: “Christa Carmondy? I thought she was in college.” Christa: “I’m just visiting. Mom, can I have the keys?” Judith: “Sure.” She hands Christa a key ring. Christa: “Thanks.” Tessa: “What the hell was that all about.” Judith: “Oh…you’ll see.” Collins whips Miss USA into the referee and knocks him out. Christa walks over to the cage door. She’s then joined by Kalee Jones- The Eskimo Queen. Christa unlocks the door and she and Jones goes in. Tessa: “What the hell? The referee’s out and your daughter just unlocked the cage to let Kalee Jones- The Eskimo Queen in?” Miss USA sees trouble and climbs top turnbuckle. She jumps from the top turnbuckle and Jones clotheslines her in mid-air. Miss USA lands hard on the mat with the wind knocked out of her. Collins stomps away. Jones picks her up and spins her around. She sits down and slams Miss USA face first to the mat. Tessa: “The Eskimo Queen just Eskimo Piefaced Miss USA! She’s not moving at all.” Katie Collins and Dawn McGill duel by the cage door. McGill’s trying to get in. Collins is trying to close the door. ‘Texas Cowgirl’ Haley Dallas, Miss USA’s tag partner last week, runs down. Tessa: “Finally. Some help.” Dallas makes as if she’s going to help McGill bust through the door. But she grabs her cowbell at the last possible second and nails McGill in the back of the head with it. McGill tips backwards and falls to the floor. Dallas inside the cage. The door is closed and relocked.
Christa Carmondy sets up several tables. She then walks over to the broadcast table and flips off Tessa. Tessa stands up. Judith: “You are not getting involved.” Tessa: “Don’t tell me what to do.” Judith: “The last thing you need to do is hurt yourself two nights before your title shot in DWF.” The crowd starts to buzz. Tessa: “Now what?” She looks up. Tessa: “There’s…a cable?” The spotlight illuminates someone on the second tier of the bar. Tessa: “Oh my God…that’s Jackie Daniels. She’s back?” Daniels, in considerably better shape than the last time MVW fans saw her, grabs on to a handle attacked to an apparatus that slides along the cable and propels herself forward. Tessa: “Here she comes!” Daniels glides through the air until she reaches the cage. She lets go and lands twenty-feet later, taking out Kalee Jones. Carmondy charges her. Daniels evades, takes her by the hair, and bulldogs her through one of the tables. Judith: “NOOOOOOOOOO!” Tessa: “Now, who’s getting involved?” Daniels takes the key ring from Christa and runs across the ring. She unlocks the door and opens it up. Tessa: “Oh, I’m just going to sit back and watch this one.” McGill, still a bit woozy from the cowbell shot to the head, immediately goes after Haley Dallas. Dallas tries to lasso the 6 foot Demolition Machine in a Short Skirt. McGill grabs the rope in mid-air and yanks Dallas towards her. Short lariat by McGill. Tessa: “Wait a second. Is that who I think it is?” Bob Nye-Foot Fetish Guy jumps into the cage and whips Katie Collins to the corner of the ring. McGill gets a chair and hits a chairshot directly to Collins’s knee. McGill grabs ahold of Christa Carmondy’s waist….Overhead Belly to Belly Suplex through another table. Judith: “NOOOOOOOOO! STOP!” Daniels hammers Collins repeatedly. Jackie Daniels grabs Collins and drags her up to another table. Side headlock. DDT through the table. Tessa: “Jackie Daniels is back and man, does she look good or what?” McGill grabs Dallas’s rope. She ties Dallas, Collins, Jones, and Christa Carmondy’s hands around the top rope. McGill then takes off each women’s shoes and socks and points them out to Bob Nye- Foot Fetish Guy. Keels awakes. He sees Miss USA unconscious. Haley Dallas, Katie Collins, Kalee Jones, and Christa Carmondy tied up in the ropes and Bob Nye- Foot Fetish Guy scoping out their feet. Keels calls for the bell and tosses the match out.
Jack Zenk in the ring. Zenk: “At twenty-three minutes and seventeen seconds, Referee Davey Keels has disqualified both contestants.” Tessa: “Well, that’s about the only thing he could do.
Post PPV News
by Paige McGillicutty:
Injuries suffered Sunday night at the Lock and Load 4 pay per view:
Starz N. Stripes (PCW) is still in a Toledo hospital with an eye injury. No word on when he will be released.
Kalee Jones- The Eskimo Queen (MVW) has a slightly seperated shoulder from when Jackie Daniels fell on her from 25 feet up in the air. Jones is expected to be out 2 to 4 weeks.
Dr. Bill (PCW) is missing and presumed abducted by Dr. Annabel Lecktor. However, FBI Special Agent Charlize Starling disputes this and flatly denies that Dr. Lecktor is responsible for Dr. Bill’s disappearance. More on this breaking store as it unfolds.
Dawn McGill (MVW) has a sizable knot on the back of her head from a cowbell shot by the ‘Texas Cowgirl’ Haley Dallas.
‘The Manchester Masterpiece’ Brooke Evans will be out 3-4 weeks with a sprained neck suffered in her match with Carrieanne McDermott.
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Also, Wednesday night there will be a special presentation of MVW-TV featuring all four of the Missouri Valley Wrestling matches from Lock and Load 4. It’ll start at 10 PM.
MVW-PCW Lock and Load 4: Miss USA vs. Katie Collins for the MVW Title
MVW-PCW Lock and Load 4- Part Three
Replay: Last week’s PCW Extreme Political TV
Obama announces who has signed on with High Octane Wrestling
Obama: “Ha…ha…ha. Very funny, J.D. All right, the reason I’m here is to announce that one of our wrestlers is leaving us and moving on to High Octane Wrestling. So, if-” Dr. Bill, PCW Television Champion Baron Von Munchke, Midnite Rockin’ Xpress members Bobby Ricky Michaels and Marty Gibson-Lane, the Green World Order (GreenPete, ‘Extreme Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee, PeaceNick, and Peta from PETA), and the God Squad (The Right Reverend Randy Richardson, Reverend Robertson, Reverend Warren, and Reverend Falwell, Jr. Dr. Bill: “Thank you…thank you…thank you.” Dr. Bill climbs into the ring and goes over to Obama. Obama: “Uh, Dr. Bill. I hate to break it to you. But, you’re not going to HOW.” Dr. Bill turns white. Dr. Bill: “W-what?” Obama: “It’s not you guys. Apparently, Lee Best doesn’t take kindly to prospective employees vandalizing the Best Arena and attacking the EPU unit.” Dr. Bill: “If not me…then…who?”
FBI Special Agent Charlize Starling wheels out Dr. Annabel (the Cannibal) Lecktor. Lecktor is strapped to a gurney and straitjacketed. She also wears a mask over her face. Dr. Bill: “HER? They took HER instead of Baron Von Munchke? You can’t be serious.” The crowd that’s there starts to jeer Dr. Bill. Obama leaves the ring to meet Agent Starling and Dr. Lecktor. Obama shakes Starling’s hand. Obama: “Congratulations, Charlize. PCW wishes you the best of luck.” Starling: “Thank you.” Obama: “So, any big plans to celebrate tonight?” Dr. Lecktor: “I’m having a friend for dinner.” Obama: “There you go. Well, congratulations and good luck.” Obama and entourage leave for the back. Agent Starling wheels Dr. Lecktor back to the dressing room. And Dr. Bill stands stunned and in disbelief in the middle of the ring.
Replay: Last Thursday Night’s HOW Turmoil show
courtesy of High Octane Wrestling)
The HOTv logo gives way to the brand new Thursday Night Aceldama banner and the World Champions music begins to play as the road to ICONIC is officially under way.
But instead of going live inside The Best Arena a video instead begins to play and the setting is obvious as it starts up…
The parking lot of The Best Arena.
Political Championship Wrestling’s Dr. Bill, Baron Von Munchke, Bobby Ricky Michaels and Marty Gibson-Lane aka The Midnite Rockin’ Xpress, plus The Green World Order’s GreenPete, Extreme Vegan Brock Cole Lee, PeaceNick, and Peta from PETA swarm all over a car in the parking lot. Von Munchke and Michaels work on loosening up the lug nuts. The GWO take turns spray painting graffiti all over the car. Dr. Bill and Gibson-Lane take turn busting out windows and lights with tire irons.
Upset over not being signed by HOW, Dr. Bill takes extreme pleasure in every swing of the tire iron that connects with the car. He is so focused on destroying the vehicle one swing at a time; he does not see FBI Special Agent Charlize Starling, Dawn McGill, and two uniformed officers wheeling Dr. Annabel Lecktor, strapped to a gurney, straitjacketed, and wearing a mask.
Starling: “WHAT…are you guys doing?”
Dr. Bill whips around.
Dr. Bill: “Starling! McGill? What are you doing here?”
McGill: “I’m meeting the Egg Bandits and signing a HOW managerial contract.”
Dr. Bill: “You too?”
Starling: “What are you guys doing?”
Dr. Bill: “What does it look like I’m doing. I’m enacting a pound of flesh from Lee Best for not signing us. Anger is nothing more than an outward expression of hurt, fear and frustration. We are merely reacting to the news that HOW, in its infinite wisdom, signed you and not us.”
Starling: “I hate to tell you, but that’s not Lee Best’s car.”
Dr. Bill: “What do you mean, that’s not Lee Best’s car.”
Starling: “That’s not Lee’s car.”
Dr. Bill: “Oh yeah? That license plate says otherwise.”
Close up on the license plate. ‘B-E’ is visible. The rest of the license plate is dirty and unreadable.
Starling: “That’s not his car.”
Starling reaches into her purse and pulls out a handkerchief. She wipes down the license plate that cleans up very nicely. The license plate reads ‘BENNY.’
Starling: “You guys vandalized Benny Newell’s car!”
Dr. Bill’s eyes widen. The license plate clearly reads ‘BENNY.’
Starling walks to the car and peeks in the back window.
Starling: “Besides, the empty bottles of Jack Daniels in the back seat should have been a dead giveaway.”
Dr. Bill: “Oh.”
Starling: “Well? Have a good night. Oh…and I wouldn’t want to be here when Benny finds out you’ve trashed his car.”
The video fades out and we go LIVE inside The Best Arena and we are greeted by none other than Joe Hoffman and one pissed off Big Buff Benny Newell!!
MATCH #7 PCW Television Title
Baron Von Munchke w/Dr. Bill and the Midnite Rockin’ Express (Old School Kings)
vs.
SNAFU w/Dawn McGill (Independent)
Charlene Ann Beckworth in the ring. Charlene Ann: “This match is a one fall, thirty minute time limit for the PCW Television Title. On his way to the ring at this time, weighing in at 225 pounds, from Norway, Maine a member of Independent accompanied by Dawn McGill, SNAFU!!!
SNAFU comes to the ring.
Charlene Ann: “And his opponent, weighing in at 233 pounds, from Berlin, Germany a member of Island of Misfit Wrestlers accompanied by Dr. Bill and the Midnite Rockin’ Xpress-” She gets cut off by a sustained wall of boos directed at Bobby Ricky Michaels for the fireball incident earlier in the night. Suave: “I don’t think they’ve forgotten that.’ Charlene Ann: “He is the PCW Television champion, BARON VON MUNCHKE!”
Baron Von Munchke climbs into the ring. Suave: “Davey Keels is the referee for this contest.” Keels calls for the bell. Von Munchke ducks a chair throw by SNAFU who then goes forward and clotheslines the Television champion. Von Munchke back up and behind SNAFU. He grabs him around the waist, and lifts. SNAFU flips over and sweeps the legs. Von Munchke drags SNAFU to the floor. Suave: “LET THE FUN BEGIN!” Dr. Bill grabs SNAFU’s arm and whips him into the ring table. Von Munchke over and rakes his fingers across SNAFU’s back. Bobby Ricky Michaels throws a chair at SNAFU. Von Munchke hits SNAFU with a baba chop. Dawn McGill comes around the bend. Baron Von Munchke delivers a spinning backbreak to SNAFU. *CLANG* McGill slams the chair into Von Munchke’s back. Scoop by McGill Powerslam on the chair! SNAFU gets whipped into the corner by Bobby Ricky Michaels. Marty Gibson-Lane follows him in with an avalanche. Dr. Bill kicks SNAFU in the groin. McGill whips Michaels into Gibson-Lane and both go down. She throws the chair to Von Munchke and kicks the chair into his face. Suave: “THAT’S TWO VAN DAMINATORS WE’VE SEEN TONIGHT!” Michaels grabs McGill from behind. He flips her over and suplexes McGill on the floor. Michaels follows with a leg drop.
The crowd suddenly goes nuts. Suave: “WAIT A MINUTE!” An extremely pissed older man wielding an empty Jack Daniels bottle marches down the aisle to the ring. Suave: “HOLY CRAP! THAT’S BENNY NEWELL FROM HIGH OCTANE WRESTLING. THAT WAS HIS CAR THAT GOT TRASHED BY THE OLD SCHOOL KINGS AND THE GREEN WORLD ORDER!” McGill back up and punches Von Munchke repeatedly. Dr. Bill sees Benny and tries to flee. He tries to duck out the other way but is blocked by a man and a woman- who both look equally pissed off. Suave: “HOLY CRAP! THAT’S HIGH OCTANE WRESTLING’S LEE BEST AND KIRSTA LEWIS!” The crowd again goes wild when they realize who the duo are. Suave: “DR. BILL IS TRYING TO BEG OFF. BUT I’M GUESSING GIVEN THE MOOD THOSE THREE ARE IN, THAT AIN’T HAPPENING.” Dr. Bill backs right up into Newell. Newell wastes no time and smashing the Jack Daniels bottle over his head. Crowd: “F*** em up Benny, f*** em up (clap clap) Benny starts laying the boots to Dr. Bill. Marty Gibson-Lane comes over. Lewis immediately thrusts her right foot out and Hell’s Bitch Kicks him to dreamland. Best sets up a chair. Newell pulls up Dr. Bill Best lifts him up and over, Fall Away Slam on the chair! Michaels from behind delivers a forearm shot to Lewis. *CLANG* Chairshot by Dawn McGill. *THWACK* Hell’s Bitch kick by Lewis. SNAFU in the ring. He’s set a chair up. Suave: “WATCH OUT! TRIPLE JUMP MOONSAULT ON THE WAY!” SNAFU gets a running start, jumps to a chair and then onto the top rope and moonsaults from there onto Von Munchke. Suave: “HOLY CRAP!” Crowd: “PCW!…PCW!…PCW!”
Best and Lewis throw Baron Von Munchke into the ring. SNAFU’s got a chair. Arabian Facebuster! SNAFU climbs up top…he flips in the air with the chair! 450 Splash with the chair on Von Munchke! Keels counts the pin. …1 …2 …3. Suave: “THAT’S IT! WE’VE GOT A NEW PCW TELEVISION CHAMPION!” Charlene Ann Beckworth in the ring to make the official announcement. Charlene Ann: “The winner, and new PCW Television Title champion, SNAFU!” Suave: “THANKS TO SOME HELP FROM HIGH OCTANE WRESTLING’S BENNY NEWELL, LEE BEST, AND KIRSTA LEWIS, WHO EVENED THE ODDS FOR SNAFU, WE’VE GOT OURSELVES A NEW PCW TELEVISION CHAMPION! AND DAWN McGILL IS NOW MANAGING TWO CHAMPIONS IN TWO DIFFERENT FEDERATIONS. SHE’S GOING AFTER THREE TUESDAY NIGHT ON DREAM WRESTLING FEDERATION’S INSOMNIA SHOW…what? THERE SEEMS TO BE A COMMOTION OFF TO THE SIDE.” Former PCW wrestler who just signed with HOW, Dr. Annabel Lecktor, is trying to drag Dr. Bill to the back. Crowd: “FRIEND FOR DINNER! (clap clap clap-clap-clap) FRIEND FOR DINNER! (clap clap clap-clap-clap)” Suave: “Oh, oh.” FBI Special Agent Charlize Starling tries to get Dr. Lecktor to let go of Dr. Bill. Lecktor pushes her down. She picks up Dr. Bill like a sack of potatoes and takes off. Starling, Best, and Lewis chase after her. Crowd: “FRIEND FOR DINNER! (clap clap clap-clap-clap) FRIEND FOR DINNER! (clap clap clap-clap-clap)” Suave: “We’ll keep an eye on this development. But Dr. Annabel Lecktor has taken Dr. Bill and left the building.”
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MISSOURI VALLEY WRESTLING ASSOCIATION
Taking Women’s E-Wrestling to a Whole Different Level
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Every Thursday Night from our friends at High Octane Wrestling
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Every Monday Night from our friends at High Octane Wrestling
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On right after Missouri Valley Wrestling at
Political Championship Wrestling
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The World eWrestling Rag’s A. Kuluha Bacardi is in the ring to make an announcement. AKB: Ladies and gentlemen. It is my pleasure to announce tonight here at Lock and Load 4, that the next WWR Supershow will take place in the Island of Puerto De Macoris, December twentieth.” Suave: “HOLY CRAP! I guess that was the price to get Miss USA back up here for tonight’s show.” Tessa: “I thought we didn’t negotiate with terrorists.” Judith: “Repugnant. Simply repugnant. If I have anything to say about the matter, Missouri Valley Wrestling will not be a part of the-” AKB: “We’ve already secured firm commitments from PCW CEO Barack Obama and MVW CEO Jason Carmondy that they will be a part of this huge event.” Judith: “Dammit, Jason.” AKB: “The event will be called ‘Christmas in the Caribbean.’ We hope to see some of you down there.”
MATCH #8 MVW Title- Cage Match
Miss USA ©
vs.
Katie Collins
Tessa: “The cage is down. The stage is set for should be a classic. Miss USA versus Katie Collins- the third time around. Jack Zenk is in the ring.
Zenk: “This next match is one fall, sixty minute time limit, for the Missouri Valley Wrestling Title. On her way to the ring at this time, weighing in at 117 pounds, from Haines City, FL, accompanied by Dawn McGill, she is the Missouri Valley Wrestling Champion, Miss USA!” Miss USA comes to the ring. Tessa: “Here she comes. The MVW Champion Miss USA.” McGill and Miss USA climb into the cage.
Zenk: “The challenger tonight, weighing in at 155 pounds, from Binghamton, New York, she’s a three time PCW Women’s champion, Katie Collins!” Katie turns and waves to the crowd. Judith: “Well, despite my earlier misgivings, Miss USA has done a good job of establishing herself as the MVW champion. Tonight, she may be facing her stiffest challenge yet.” Tessa: “Katie wants the title badly.” Davey Keels sends McGill out of the cage and the door is closed and locked. Tessa: “We’re about ready. (ring, ring, ring) And here we go.” Miss USA and Collins circle each other warily. Each woman feints towards the other and then backs away. Lock up. Collins hits Miss USA with a baba chop. She whirls back around with a back fist. Collins uppercuts Miss USA and sends her staggering into the ropes. Tessa: “Katie Collins coming out with the heavy artillery early on!” Judith: “It’s her best mode of attack, Tess.” Collins shoulder tackles Miss USA. Collins back up. She sends Miss USA for the ride into the ropes…shoulder block #2. Collins turns her over and pulls her arm behind her. Tessa: “Hammerlock by Katie Collins.” Judith: “This stretches the pectorals and shoulder joint, and immobilizes the arm.” Tessa: “Referee Davey Keels is checking for a tap out. Miss USA escapes. Collins scoops up Miss USA and starts spinning. Tessa: “Airplane spin. Collins dumps Miss USA onto the mat and goes for the cage.” Collins climbs the cage. Miss USA gets her bearings back. She pulls Collins off the cage.
Kick attempt by Miss USA, Collins catches his leg. Miss USA flips around and kicks Collins. Elbow to the stomach by Miss USA. Flying shoulder block sends Collins sprawling to the mat. Collins slams her hand on the canvas and gets back up. She goes for a running lariat, Miss USA ducks under. Collins keeps on going and begins climbing the cage. Miss USA over and shakes the cage. Collins falls off. Miss USA jumps onto the top rope…hits a rope flip moonsault on Collins. Now she tries to climb the cage. Tessa: “She’s halfway up…” Judith: “She might make it.” Collins pulls herself up and shakes the cage. Tessa: “Miss USA tries to hang on! NO!” Miss USA loses her grip and goes down. Judith: “A long way to fall.” Collins delivers a nasty elbow smash to the face. Collins rakes her fingers across her back. Gouge to Miss USA’s eyes. Collins gets caught when Miss USA hits her with her own elbow smash. Quickly up the turnbuckle. Miss USA goes off the top turnbuckle…double foot stomp on Collins. She goes back up to the second turnbuckle. Elbow drop from the second turnbuckle. Diving elbow smash from Miss USA follows. Elbow drop. Collins back up. Flying side kick by Miss USA misses. Collins charges, wraps her arm around Miss USA’s upper chest and neck swings her legs forward, using the momentum to pull her down to the mat. Tessa: “Beautiful running neckbreaker by Katie Collins.” Collins starts to climb the cage. Miss USA pulls her right off.
Snap mare takeover by Collins. She misses with a lariat. Miss USA uses the ropes for momentum and hits a flying body press. She hooks the legs. One…two…kick out by Collins. Collins pokes Miss USA in the eyes. Miss USA returns with a jumping elbow thrust. Collins uses a closed fist on Miss USA. Back elbow smash follows. Collins places her head under Miss USA’s jaw and falls to a sitting position, driving her jaw the top of his/her head. Tessa: “Jawbreaker by Collins and that’ll take a lot of the starch out of you.” Collins goes second turnbuckle. Elbow drop by Collins misses. Judith: “Alert move by Miss USA. She rolled out of harm’s way before Collins could hit the elbow.” Front headlock by Miss USA. She drops backwards and drives Collins down to the mat head first. Tessa: “Springboard DDT by Miss USA. And now, she’s climbing up the cage again.” Miss USA is pulled off the cage by Katie Collins. Collins hits Miss USA with a headbutt to the mid-section. Miss USA hits a flying karate chop right to Collins’s neck. Collins jabs Miss USA. Miss USA hiptosses Collins to the mat. Diving elbow smash by Miss USA. Then an elbow drop. Tessa: “Back and forth, back and forth. Just when you think one gets the momentum, it turns on a dime. Miss USA has it right now.” Bulldog by Miss USA. She goes top turnbuckle. Five Star Shooting Star Press. Miss USA scrambles over to cover. Keels counts the pin. …1 Collins escapes. Katie Collins moves back to his feet. Miss USA dropkicks Collins to the face. Collins takes another Five Star Shooting Star Press from Miss USA. Keels counts…1 …2 Collins kicks out! Tessa: “Unbelieveable! Collins kicks out of two shooting star presses in a row!” Judith: “She’s tough, But right now, she’s in big trouble.” Miss USA begins climbing the cage. She reaches the top of the cage. Collins up. She shakes the cage…Miss USA goes down.
Female voice: “Hi Mom.” Judith: “Christa, how nice to see you.” Tessa: “Christa Carmondy? I thought she was in college.” Christa: “I’m just visiting. Mom, can I have the keys?” Judith: “Sure.” She hands Christa a key ring. Christa: “Thanks.” Tessa: “What the hell was that all about.” Judith: “Oh…you’ll see.” Collins whips Miss USA into the referee and knocks him out. Christa walks over to the cage door. She’s then joined by Kalee Jones- The Eskimo Queen. Christa unlocks the door and she and Jones goes in. Tessa: “What the hell? The referee’s out and your daughter just unlocked the cage to let Kalee Jones- The Eskimo Queen in?” Miss USA sees trouble and climbs top turnbuckle. She jumps from the top turnbuckle and Jones clotheslines her in mid-air. Miss USA lands hard on the mat with the wind knocked out of her. Collins stomps away. Jones picks her up and spins her around. She sits down and slams Miss USA face first to the mat. Tessa: “The Eskimo Queen just Eskimo Piefaced Miss USA! She’s not moving at all.” Katie Collins and Dawn McGill duel by the cage door. McGill’s trying to get in. Collins is trying to close the door. ‘Texas Cowgirl’ Haley Dallas, Miss USA’s tag partner last week, runs down. Tessa: “Finally. Some help.” Dallas makes as if she’s going to help McGill bust through the door. But she grabs her cowbell at the last possible second and nails McGill in the back of the head with it. McGill tips backwards and falls to the floor. Dallas inside the cage. The door is closed and relocked.
Christa Carmondy sets up several tables. She then walks over to the broadcast table and flips off Tessa. Tessa stands up. Judith: “You are not getting involved.” Tessa: “Don’t tell me what to do.” Judith: “The last thing you need to do is hurt yourself two nights before your title shot in DWF.” The crowd starts to buzz. Tessa: “Now what?” She looks up. Tessa: “There’s…a cable?” The spotlight illuminates someone on the second tier of the bar. Tessa: “Oh my God…that’s Jackie Daniels. She’s back?” Daniels, in considerably better shape than the last time MVW fans saw her, grabs on to a handle attacked to an apparatus that slides along the cable and propels herself forward. Tessa: “Here she comes!” Daniels glides through the air until she reaches the cage. She lets go and lands twenty-feet later, taking out Kalee Jones. Carmondy charges her. Daniels evades, takes her by the hair, and bulldogs her through one of the tables. Judith: “NOOOOOOOOOO!” Tessa: “Now, who’s getting involved?” Daniels takes the key ring from Christa and runs across the ring. She unlocks the door and opens it up. Tessa: “Oh, I’m just going to sit back and watch this one.” McGill, still a bit woozy from the cowbell shot to the head, immediately goes after Haley Dallas. Dallas tries to lasso the 6 foot Demolition Machine in a Short Skirt. McGill grabs the rope in mid-air and yanks Dallas towards her. Short lariat by McGill. Tessa: “Wait a second. Is that who I think it is?” Bob Nye-Foot Fetish Guy jumps into the cage and whips Katie Collins to the corner of the ring. McGill gets a chair and hits a chairshot directly to Collins’s knee. McGill grabs ahold of Christa Carmondy’s waist….Overhead Belly to Belly Suplex through another table. Judith: “NOOOOOOOOO! STOP!” Daniels hammers Collins repeatedly. Jackie Daniels grabs Collins and drags her up to another table. Side headlock. DDT through the table. Tessa: “Jackie Daniels is back and man, does she look good or what?” McGill grabs Dallas’s rope. She ties Dallas, Collins, Jones, and Christa Carmondy’s hands around the top rope. McGill then takes off each women’s shoes and socks and points them out to Bob Nye- Foot Fetish Guy. Keels awakes. He sees Miss USA unconscious. Haley Dallas, Katie Collins, Kalee Jones, and Christa Carmondy tied up in the ropes and Bob Nye- Foot Fetish Guy scoping out their feet. Keels calls for the bell and tosses the match out.
Jack Zenk in the ring. Zenk: “At twenty-three minutes and seventeen seconds, Referee Davey Keels has disqualified both contestants.” Tessa: “Well, that’s about the only thing he could do.
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LAST WEEK’S BILL CLINTON’S HOT TUB
Clinton and PCW Champion ‘Hollywood A-Lister’ Stone Chism relax inside the hot tub. Chism’s challenger this Sunday night at PCW-MVW Lock and Load 4, Starz N. Stripes, stands outside the hot tub, fully clothed. Clinton: “Aw, come on. Why won’t you get into the hot tub?” Starz: “No. I’m not playing the little game here tonight. I’m not getting in the tub with two grown naked men. I’m not going to lay down for you, Stone Chism, Sunday night. I’m not playing the game.” Chism: “I’m disappointed, Starz. I thought you were a team player.” Starz: “I am a team player, Stone. But I have more respect for the PCW title than you do. I will not dishonor the title belt by deliberately throwing a match just to satisfy your overly inflated ego.” Clinton: “Now boys, let’s not let this get out of hand.” Chism: “Overly inflated ego? You’re just jealous that you couldn’t get Tom Cruise or Demi Moore to do a video for you.” Starz: “Right. Forget it. I’m not doing this.” Starz walks away.
Chism: “He’s going to be a problem.” Clinton: “Well, you need to touch base with Rahm Emanuel. He’ll make sure everything goes the way it’s supposed to Sunday night.” Clinton leans back and closes his eyes. Clinton: “Well. So much for having a show tonight.” Female voice: “Why don’t you let me guest on your show.” An older red-headed woman in a white terry cloth robe walks over to the hot tub. Clinton: “Maureen Dowd? What the hell are you doing here?” Dowd: “I thought I’d join your little show. I mean, you did have Sarah Palin on last week.” Clinton: “Yeah, but…” Dowd whips off her robe. Clinton covers his eyes. Clinton: “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Chism: “AAARGGHHHHHHHHH!”
SPECIAL BILL CLINTON’S HOT TUB
It’s just Bill inside his hot tub tonight and he doesn’t appear to be in a particularly good mood. Bill: “I saw what took place earlier tonight and I am profoundly horrified by what took place…” Suave: “That would be the apparent blinding of Starz N. Stripes by the Midnite Rockin’ Xpress thanks to a fireball. Starz has been taken to a local hospital and is reportedly on his way now to Toledo.” Clinton starts wagging his finger to the camera. Bill: “I just want to make this perfectly clear, I…did…not have anything to do with that…fireball to Mr. Stripes. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have two ladies who’ll be joining me in just a few-” Older woman’s voice: “Hi Bill.” Another woman’s voice: “Long time no see.” Clinton’s eyes bug out. Bill: “Madelene Albright? Janet Reno?” Close up shot of Bill covering his eyes as two sets of terry cloth robes drop to the ground. Bill: “NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”
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MATCH #9
‘Hollywood A-Lister’ Stone Chism
vs.
Starz N. Stripes
Chism in the ring. Chism: “Well? I guess the referee can come out and make this academic since Starz N. Stripes didn’t have the decency to wait around and lay down for me like he should have.” Crowd: “A**-HOLE!…A**-HOLE!…” Chism: “Oh. I know you guys really love me. And why not? I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again. *I* am a star. The rest of them are just wrestlers. I am…I…I?” Mahmoud Ahmadinejad leads Khalid-El and the rest of the Axis of Evil (Kim Song-Il, Byung Hyung Kang, Fatima, Soon Ye, Hugo Chavez and Fernando Venezuela to the ring. Suave: “IT’S THE AXIS OF EVIL!” Chism looks to the back for help. Chism: “Uh…guys?”
*flute and clarinet flourish*
Two men come out and unroll a white carpet to the ring steps. Dancers then dance. Ballet dancers…ballet? Little children walk up the white carpet and drop rose petals. Someone lets loose some pigeons…we’re still not sure just how they’ll get out of the building. The crowd stands and lets out a loud ovation as PCW CEO Barack Obama appears. Two aides wheel out a portable wooden closet that’s been repaired containing his Aide de Camp Joe Biden inside. Obama climbs into the ring and confronts Ahmadinejad. Obama: “You want do this tonight?” Ahmadinejad nods. Obama: “Fine.” The crowd roars until they realize there’s someone missing in the ring- ‘The Hollywood A-Lister. Suave: “He snuck out of here? The PCW champion?” Obama orders the bell rang. The referee starts to count. Suave: “Khalid-El is going to get his first Par Per View win ever, but he’s still not going to win the PCW Title.” The referee reaches ten and calls for the bell. Suave: “That’s it! Khalid-El wins the match but not the PCW title.” Ahmadinejad is incensed. Khalid-El rages around the ring. Obama is apologetic…but not that apologetic. Suave: “And that’ll do it for tonight. No PCW Extreme Political TV this week. It’s be a replay of tonight’s show. I’m Johnny Suave for Tessa Martin and Dame Judith Carmondy. Thanks for tuning in.”
